In the end, we’re on the same island

Last year, the 2024 dance fever ended in an explosion of confetti, candy wrappers, and shoes. During the event, a group of seniors danced up to the freshman section holding up a poster with the year “2028” written on it. Pausing for a second in front of the bleachers, they tore it up and continued on with excitement.

It was done as a little playful rivalry directed at the freshman. Previous senior classes had similarly jabbed at the new class. Yet, suddenly, as if it were an act of war, shoes began to fly from the freshman section. Shortly after followed a pair of pants. No one was hit, though people felt disrespected. A few freshmen were identified and disciplined for their actions.

“There's the average, like, oh, they're younger, you know, let's be mean to the freshman,” explained senior Coleman Riddell when asked about grade level conflicts. He mentioned that this was the main rivalry he had witnessed between grade levels, though students point out recent events that have stirred more drama.

Skip forward to the 2025 dance fever. What was once a minor clash between the freshman and seniors escalated into a burst of accusations and hostility among grades. Competitive rivalries turned into something more personal, and students were putting up social media content and graffiti that put down other classes. People felt immense frustration, and rather than a fun competition, it felt like a battle with students putting pride before everything and showing disrespect for one another.

“The competition was blown out of proportion,” says junior Mia Lee. “There were people tearing down things, and it's just like, what happened to the friendly competition?”

To many students, school spirit has come to represent more than simple rivalry–it shows a broader issue of how students handle conflicts. Others have noticed that, oftentimes, disagreements escalate into trying to tear others down instead of working to actually navigate through differences.

“...They Just Take it Out With Drama”

Freshman Harana Peralta observes that “typically, most students handle disagreements with drama, silent anger, or even talking behind their backs.” Mariah Kauvaka, also a freshman, agrees. “They just take it out with drama or some of them add more to it,” she observes, “by feeding into it on their social media.”

Some students say they haven’t seen conflicts as direct and out in the open. Junior Oliana Schur describes how people mostly “stay quiet or talk trash with their friends and people they think will agree with them.”

Sophomore Leabelle Catuday has seen more aggressive displays of school spirit. She describes a classroom incident where “there were people who were having an argument, and they went straight up to calling them the N word … being very rude to each other.” She’s also seen a lot of students resort to physically fighting: “Straight fighting, like hands on, punch, punch. That's how they fix it.”

Seeing how these conflicts unfold, Peralta doesn’t think that students at our school are “civil” to each other. The problem isn’t that students are having disagreements, but that some are choosing to approach them with aggression. There is a lack of civility behind their actions and behavior.

“...Put Up with People That You Don’t Like”

Teresa Bejan, a political theorist and author, spoke on how “civility makes our disagreements tolerable so that we can share a life together even if we don't share a faith -- religious, political or otherwise.” If this virtue is a foundation that allows us to stay together as a society, she says, then it’s important for people to understand what civility is and how to embody it. 

A some students are concerned about how to fix it. “Probably treating people with, like, respect and not like bullying them,” said one freshman. Similarly, an anonymous sophomore said "um, not being rude.” Another student added “treating others with kindness no matter whoever the person is.”

Most people see civility as simply being respectful and polite to others, and while this is the basis, it goes far deeper than that. Daniel Schultz, Ceramics teacher, explained that civility is learning how to “put up with people that you don't like.” People will “have different thoughts, different interests, different opinions,” he says, “but you still need to be able to get along and not kill, hurt, or abuse other people because they have differences in opinions.”

Lee echoes this, acknowledging disagreements are natural: “you believe that I believe this.” But it shouldn't interfere with how we live amongst each other, she said, “That should not affect our working relationship, our, like, school relationship, or just our friendship in general.”

For Michelle Brummel, civility is how students, even if they don’t see eye to eye, are “able to get along and work together, being collaborative in an effort to reach a common goal.”

“It's the idea of realizing that we're all in it together,” mentions Riddell.

“…Shut Me Up to Try and Prove Their Point”

So why do some students have trouble being civil towards each other?

People usually have disagreements on what they’re most passionate about. When another person sees things differently, Schultz explains, “they get upset about something and they feel like the other person doesn't see it their way.” “They're not rooting for the same teams,” he continues, “and then they handle it negatively, like, ‘you don't see it my way, then I'm gonna. I'm gonna handle you.’”

It’s hard to remain civil with people when they’re “really passionate about their belief,” says Catuday. This can come to the point where, she says, they “don't really care about what the others have to say.” In a situation like this, “it can get really heated.”

Peralta describes talking to people that have different beliefs from her. Many would rather “talk over me or shut me up to try and prove their point. Honestly, it’s frustrating when they don’t wanna see my point of view.”

When it comes to disagreements, Lee mentions “there's, like, that half of kids at our school who can have that civil conversation,” and then “there's that half that will take things out of proportion and, like, get offended or just, like, throw it out.”

Is Silence Civility? 

Mr. Schultz mentions that “I don't know how often people are encouraged to share their opinions and how often people are understanding that there are differences of opinions while they're at school.”

It can be difficult to engage with someone who has different perspectives you disagree with. Because of this, Catuday find it "more tolerable to be around them” if they don’t speak about their perspective.

Senior Ricardo Solano is one of the "tolerable" people who avoid conflict by not speaking his opinion at all. He says that even if he disagrees with someone, “I just go with whatever they say, so, like, nothing happens, you know.”

It seems that avoiding conflict, rather than communicating through disagreements, is a solution that keeps things civil. But is this silence a real solution, or a temporary way of avoiding the issues at hand?

Riddell puts into perspective that “Weirdly, I think by not saying anything, everyone's kind of just comfortable with it.” Or, by staying silent, students don’t have to face uncomfortable conversations, disagreement, or larger conflicts, which helps to maintain a surface level sense of peace. However, students in this situation also lose their voices.

“...We All Aren’t Meant to Have the Same Opinions”

“I think we do need to start speaking up more when we feel differently on something, but we have to be accountable and have the courage to do that, and encourage others to do that as well,” says Schur.

Mr. Schultz uses critiques as an example. In his class, when reviewing each other's ceramics, he encourages students to “disagree with each other and share their opinions.” But they must not do it in a problematic way. Instead, he encourages them to “have thoughts, articulate them and share them with other people, and then hear other people's opinions.” He mentions that “I think our school could benefit from doing that on a larger scale.”

“We all aren’t meant to have the same opinions and way of thinking about stuff,” says sophomore Christopher Apilado. If he disagrees with another person, he doesn’t try to change their way of thinking or opinion” but rather he just wants “to make what I think clear, and make what they think clear.”

“I think people have strategies of, like, ignoring the people or stonewalling them or, you know, just like, completely shutting them off, right?” says Mr. Schultz.

Instead of doing this, says Lawrence Abut, a junior, “I would listen to their point of argument, their ideas, and then let them finish up what they're saying.”

Such a strategy could have larger effects on us, says senior, Jowy Langaman. Being open to hear what others say, even through disagreement, “could change my own perspective.”

Practicing Civility by Being Open to Differences

“Our school can be a little bit cliquey,” says Brummel. She explains that students tend to cling to their groups all the way through, and while it’s natural to want to be around friends, it’s important for students to “learn how to talk and hang out with other people” who are different from them.

Liana M Horovitz, history professor for the early college program, suggests that students should “build a diverse network of friends.” “Make it a practice not to use inflammatory or offensive language, sarcasm, or raised voices,” she recommends. “Withhold judgment” and “have a true curiosity about others.”

Horovitz encourages students to engage more openly with each other: and to “Ask questions! Make it a practice to ask, ‘Tell me more.’ And then really listen.” 

“...we're so small.”

Civility is what allows us to be able to disagree without seeking to hurt or destroy one another in any way. It's what makes it possible to tolerate differences we have and continue to live and work together as a community. It’s how we can approach homecoming competitions with good spirits, and not having it turn into something personal, which creates division and hostility.

Digital media teacher Mr. Shigaki mentions that without having civility, “it's going to actually impact a lot of hatred to each other and that's what causes war.” He says that we shouldn’t put people down, because “in the end, we're on the same island. We going to have to talk to each other later.”

For many students, community is something they take pride in. “Lahaina town…we’re really a close community,” says Abut. “You would just see somebody just down the store or on front street and be like, oh, yeah, that's my classmate or their mom.”

“I don't think we should be fighting with each other, especially after everything that we lost,” says Kauvaka.

Langaman added that because we’re such a close community, “school should be a safe place for all people. It also could help you build new connections in the future.”

“So the idea that focusing on hurting another person–especially, again, when we're so small,” said Riddell. “What are you getting out of that? … like, there's no reason to.”