Valentine's Day

“Valentine's day is absolutely horrible,” said sophomore Marcus John Palacio on the upcoming holiday. Explaining his feelings, he admitted that his dislike is entirely personal: “I am very jealous and very envious of all the people that get to experience love in this young, innocent, and youthful way.” 

As Valentine's day approaches, students at LHS have mixed feelings about the holiday and the dating culture on campus. We wanted to talk to them about dating on campus and the expectations they (and their fellow students) have for their relationships. Here’s what we found. 

“...a great day to bake cookies…”

While some students may envy the happiness of others, some students still appreciate the 14th of February. Senior Dylan Paul Lat said, “I love Valentine's day! It's a great day to bake cookies and show love to everyone, not just in romantic relationships.” Similarly, Junior Brandon Gonzales said “I feel like it’s good that love is in the air.” 

Yet, other students may doubt whether anyone really cares about the holiday or takes it as seriously as they should. Freshman Mele Fita Feleta, believes that Valentine’s day has lost its significance and that “not many people really care about the day anymore–no one really does anything.”

Similarly, sophomore Lucia Mejia noted that “it doesn't seem like a big deal to guys. I don't really see guys going up to girls and asking them to be their valentine anymore.”

Expectations in relationships

Despite their feelings about the holiday itself, LHS students are still looking for romance, though many of them have different ideas about what that looks like. 

“I imagine the perfect guy,” says an anonymous sophomore.  “Then when I talk to an actual guy. He’s not what I pictured and it disappoints me.” 

According to Dr. Lina Guzman, teens tend to begin with high standards for relationships. Nevertheless, she finds, “they don’t always expect to find those qualities in a partner” because they have a pessimistic outlook when it comes to relationships. 

The teenagers interviewed for Guzman’s study knew few adults “whose romantic relationships were worthy of emulation.” The absence of healthy relationship models creates a cycle, she suggests, in which young people feel resigned to unhealthy patterns. For Guzman, “relationship habits formed in adolescence shape future adult relationships.” 

In contrast to these findings, students like sophomore Annika Yu-Cua have pretty practical expectations for a teenager. She wants a partner who has “actual goals in life and a plan to succeed.” Freshman Avery English is also just looking for “the minimum effort.” Though, she added: “I don't want you to be mean.”

Some students feel that finding a relationship in a small community like Maui can be challenging. Faleta put it simply: “it’s hard to find someone here–especially if your standards are really high.”

Sophomore Mia Lee admits to having fairly unrealistic expectations about her future person, though she claims that her ideas are learned. “I'm just way too delusional,” she joked. “My expectations are way too high because of the books I read and the movies I watch.”

Sophomore Lucia Mejia also observes a common trend in student preferences: “Everyone here looks for a tall guy.” 

Gonzales suggested that some student relationships seem temporary or insincere. Among students, especially freshmen, “I see a lot of them dating for a week and then breaking up.”

Social Media and Dating

It is possible that our dating patterns and expectations may be influenced by the technology that has become such a big part of our reality. 

Dr. K. R. Subramanian argues that the decrease in face-to-face interactions due to social media use has led younger people to prefer isolation and spending time in their own “imaginary world.” Stuck to their phones, young people sacrifice time with their family, neighbors, and “real friends.” 

Cameron Leslie agrees, saying, “I judge more because social media makes things look different from reality.”

Social media has played a significant role in dating. It has “changed people’s perceptions of what a relationship should be. They see a nice couple on Instagram reels, now they're looking for the perfect person, and think they're entitled to it,” says Senior Tyzo Kaska. 

Leslie agrees: “I feel like people just start to slip away from, like, the respect part of it because they just fantasize more of the idea of having a relationship.”

“People need to be reminded that relationships take work. Some only focus on the good and ignore the hardships,” says Aunty Cass. 

Senior Jericho Yagin also notices that social media “makes it easier to start conversations with people rather than talking to them in person,” which creates virtual relationships that don’t work in reality.

Student Activities Coordinator (SAC), Aunty Cassie Jacinto thinks so too. She warns that “since the internet makes it so easy to connect, it also makes it easy to jump from one person to another, which can create trust issues in relationships.” 

Mejia points out that a lot of what we see online is not even appropriate or relevant for younger people in relationships. “Everyone online talks about ‘red flags,’ but we’re literally teenagers—were still growing and developing.” 

V-Day Event

Despite these challenges, some students remain hopeful, while others are content with celebrating love in all its forms, not just romantic relationships. 

Aunty Cass as SAC plans events based on student council input. But, she adds, it is also important to “make the events for the date inclusive,” for those looking for romance as well as those who simply like baking cookies.