Love on a Budget

As Valentine’s Day approaches, students are looking at a familiar dilemma: is love a matter of how much you spend, or is it the thought that counts? Recently, some students notice a pattern in their classmates’ approach gift-giving and showing affection. “One of my classmates wants someone with money,” said freshman Brenda Cuando, who worries that the true meaning of love is under attack. “They shouldn’t only focus on the money,” she added.

According to junior William Alden Palacio, the right gift isn’t necessarily about the price tag. “I don't really care if I spend money on my partner,” he said. “It’s just picking out the right things for her. The only thing that I care about is putting in enough effort.”

While some prioritize effort, others struggle with the reality that sometimes they simply can’t afford to spend. In fact, 36 percent of respondents to a recent Ka Lama Hawai’i poll reported feeling direct pressure to spend money on their partners for the holiday. This pressure is significant since many students may not have the financial means.

Moreover, according to Lahainaluna’s Title I data for the 2024-25 school year, more than half of the student body qualifies for low-income programs such as free and reduced lunch and Upward Bound. Title I is a federal program that provides funding to schools with high percentages of low-income students to improve their academic performance.

“...sometimes I can’t afford it.”

While some students earn an income on their own time, not all students are employed. “It is hard for me to spend money since I don’t have a job,” says Cuando. “I am a big gift giver, but sometimes I can’t afford it.”

Like many students in February, Cuando admits to feelings of guilt when she finds herself unable to give her partner the "perfect" gift.

"I'd be taking them on dates if I worked a job,” said freshman Harana Peralta, who noted she would be “spoiling my partner if I had money.”

Despite these regrets, poll data painted a much more confusing picture. Among respondents, the average suggested amount that a “good partner” would spend was approximately $40. This data was distorted, however, by the fact that many said $0, and one respondent suggested $300.

"Struggling with someone by your side.” 

“Building a relationship around money and gifts isn’t going to work out in the long term since people's feelings will get hurt and expectations won't be met,” said social studies teacher Sarah Eubank. She believes that materialistic values shouldn’t dictate relationships, as focusing strictly on money can have negative consequences.

In fact, most respondents saw financial struggle as something that produces closer relationships. As one respondent wrote, "Struggling with someone by your side is better than struggling alone." Other students claimed that a "deep feeling of care," "natural connection," and "choosing someone over and over again” are of greater worth to them than financial output. According to 91 percent of poll respondents, money has nothing to do with showing true affection.

“It doesn't have to be about money,” said sophomore Hazzylyn Manuel. “It’s just how much love you put into your gift, and how much effort you put in there.” This shows how the connection between partners is often prioritized, proving affection and love aren't confined to monetary displays.

Palacio agrees, noting there’s more value in a connection that survives without money. He feels his girlfriend is “the type of person that would stick next to you, even when times get tough.”

“...a lot more meaning…”

One of the most common responses in the survey pointed to the value of homemade gifts. “I use things that I have at home to make something for my partner when I don’t have money,” says Cuando. “I like seeing my partner happy,” she added. “Money shouldn’t matter; it should be about the love and connection you have with them.”

Other respondents echoed this, noting that “handmade gifts have a lot more meaning” and that “commitment and time to the other person is the least you can do.”

As one student put it: “Affection can be shown through handmade gifts, which can be free if you're using materials you have at school or at your house.”

“...it's the meaning behind it”

“High school relationships should be about fun, I don't think that it should be about gifts and materialistic expectations,” says Eubank, emphasizing that the price of a gift shouldn’t determine who you're with.

Sophomore Mei-Lin Aipa agrees. “No matter the price, it's the meaning behind it.” According to most students interviewed, employment status isn't a requirement to be a good gift giver, and, as Aipa notes, “Money doesn’t change how I see someone. It doesn't get to decide who I love.”

This Valentine’s Day, Lahainaluna students will be celebrating with the knowledge that love costs nothing—or it costs somewhere around $40. “Love will teach you a lot of things,” said Palacio, “financially and in general.”