"We’ve never held hands"

Dear kaia,

My name is In Love Lana, and my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for five years now and we’ve never held hands, hugged, or kissed. WHAT DO I DO!!! I love my boyfriend so much and I know he loves me too. I really just don’t know if I can keep going without him showing me affection. How do I bring this up without ruining my 5 year relationship??? Please help me.

Hi Lana , 

It sounds like you love your boyfriend a lot and you want affection. You seem upset because he isn’t giving you any. 

It seems like you love him and want his affection, and that's okay. It's important to acknowledge what your feelings are in a relationship. Affection is an important thing to want in a romantic relationship especially if it has been going on for a long time.

The best approach to this situation is to have an open conversation, an honest one where you tell your boyfriend how you feel. It would be best if you chose someplace you both feel safe and comfortable.

To start the conversation you should tell him how much you love and appreciate him and the relationship that you two share. Once you both are comfortable in the conversation you should tell him gently how you have been feeling about the lack of affection.

You also need to listen to his side of the story too. He may not want physical affection because he could have other ways to show you his love. He also may have other reasons, but that is why you two should have a conversation. 

Once you have finished talking about how you both feel, you should come to a middle ground or a compromise that fits what both of you need. 

Make sure you continue to converse and talk about each other's needs and wants. 

Overall, make sure you both are comfortable with what you both need and that you always talk to each other if you have troubles. If you do that, you both will continue to grow in your relationship.